It's not uncommon to be stuck in a rut. We've all been there. We all know how it feels to get up, get dressed, go to work, come home and go to bed only to do it all over again the next day. And the next day. And the next day.

Routine isn't necessarily a bad thing but it shouldn't be at the expense of your happiness or your relationships with others.

Where a routine can be bad is when you are stuck in the same one for extended periods of times. You may find yourself saying things like I wish I had a better relationship with my brother, or I wish we had more spontaneity in our marriage. So how do you solve this? How do you break out of these ruts? How do you get your wish granted? Simple. Don't wish your life away. Do something.

The only way to get out of a rut, as difficult as it may seem, is to actually do something. Take control of the situation and make something happen.

If you want a better relationship with someone ask yourself "what am I doing to make this relationship better?" If the answer is not much, then you have plenty to work with.

You simply need to start.

Pick up the phone, compose an email, ask them to coffee or out for dinner. You shouldn't wait for the other person to approach you. Get out there and take the first step. For all you know the other person may be quite content with the way your relationship is right now. If that's the case they may never approach you wanting to make a change.

Simply put: If something isn't working for you, then you should do something about it.

Similarly, spontaneity doesn't just happen. Somebody has to make it happen. But isn't planned spontaneity a contradiction? Maybe. But you could be waiting an awfully long time for your wife to spring a romantic evening on you or your husband to plan a weekend away. Instead, if there is something that seems fun or something you want to try, do it yourself right out of the blue.

There are no rules for how you live your life, really. It would be unfortunate if you lived most of your life wishing for it to be a certain way, when you likely had the power to create it all along. Don't wish your life away. It is short and fleeting.

Think of what it is you want, what you're wishing for and find out how you can make it a reality.

• Write out what you wish to be different right now. Is it a relationship, a situation, a job or a less than endearing quality?
• If you were granted your wish what would the ideal situation look like?
• What is one thing you can do today to get closer to your ideal? Remember baby steps are key.
• What resources do you need to make it happen?
• Decide how you're going to get these resources. (Library, online, stores, books, magazines etc.)
• Last step DO IT.

The last step is what a lot of people have the most trouble with. We often get stuck in the planning phase that we forget to actually do it and more often we're scared to do it. Give yourself a break. Don't be so hard on yourself.

To improve a relationship or a situation you need courage, you may need to swallow some pride and you should really listen to what others have to say about what they really need.

If you're not living the life you want or need you can change it. The next time you hear yourself say "I wish … " stop yourself right there and ask yourself: "What little thing can I do right now to start making it a reality?"